The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries
by Blue Wyvern Rider
Summary: Mist starts to keep a diary just as the events in Path of Radiance begin. Follow Mist as she tries to ship Ike and Elincia, train up Rolf, tries her best to stay in fashion, and generally tries to be helpful in her own skewed way, all while Sothe decides to add some colorful commentary. A humorous take off Mozco's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.
1. Entry 1

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diary**

 **Entry 1**

Dear Diary…or should I call you Journal?

I guess I can decide later. Anyway, I guess I should let you know who I am. I'm Mist, the second youngest member of the Greil Mercenaries, and definitely older than Rolf no matter what he says.

Oh, yeah. The Greil Mercenaries is the group of fighters that my dad leads. We're called mercenaries, but we really only focus on doing good things for others, and not acting like other sellswords that do anything for gold. Though I did wish we had a _little_ more gold, because whenever I ask dad for a new dress, he says we don't have enough for one. Way to go, dad.

Today Oscar sent me to fetch my dad and older brother who were training out in the forest. I don't know why they train out there instead of in the courtyard like everyone else. Must be a 'father, son' thing.

Anyway, when I got there, I was just in time to see dad lay a good one on my brother, who had tried to cheat. I laughed a bit. I mean, it _was_ pretty funny. Only Ike didn't get right back up, which wasn't as funny.

Dad said he would be fine and dragged him into a clearing to rest. I was busy picking a few flowers, when big brother suddenly came to and called me 'mom'. I dropped my flowers and burst out laughing. I mean, really? Mom?

When Boyd, another member of the mercenaries, came grumbling down the path to find us, I decided that I had to tell him how big brother mistook me for our mom. Boyd joined in in the laughter and immediately took the opportunity to tease Ike for it.

As usual, Boyd kind of took it all over the top, though, so I started feeling a little bad that I had told him. Ike felt a bit better after trouncing him in a fight, but to make it up to him myself, I told Titania that Boyd forgot to do his practice swings, which was actually true. Titania is my dad's deputy commander, and she let Boyd have it. I can still see him swinging his axe out my bedroom window right now.

Anyway, I'm going to sleep now, diary. Good night.

-Mist :)

P.S. When I was learning my letters, I realized those two above form a smiley face. It's like a picture or icon of emotion or something. Since either no one knew what to call it or ignored me, like Boyd, I've decided to call it an emotional icon. Hmm…that seems too long. Let's just shorten it to 'emoticon'. There we go.

-o-

 **Arthur's Notes:** A new story! Anyway, I got this idea when I was reading Moczo's Diary of a Wimpy Kid, in which Palleas writes a humorous diary about the events during Radiant Dawn. When this idea hit me, I knew I had to write it. If you end up enjoying this story, make sure to check his out as well, since this idea is based off his.

While the chapters here will be much, _much_ shorten than I normally do, I'll keep this from updating more than once a day, to both lengthen it out a bit, as well as save you guys' emails from exploding. Each entry will follow along with the story and show Mist's take on events. This will be my first attempt at a more humorous fic, so we'll see how it goes. It _is_ a humorous fic in nature, though, so don't try taking any of it too seriously. ;)


	2. Entry 2

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 2**

Dear Diary,

Big brother went on his first mission today. I was a little worried, but he came back alright.

Boyd came back with a bleeding forehead. Rolf started to get upset over it, but Boyd assured him it was just a scratch, only for the wound to start squirting blood through the air.

Boyd is always like that, so I'm used to it. Rolf got upset over it all, though, so I promised we could go to the clearing and gather some flowers to calm him down. Rolf is a lot less rough than his older brother Boyd. I would say he's more like their oldest brother Oscar. He's the one that cooks all our meals. I don't think I've ever seen Oscar not smiling…or seen him open his eyes fully. Hmm…

Anyway, so while everyone else was gone today, I decided to find more 'emoticons'. I had Rolf help, but he didn't seem to understand it at all. I'll try listing a few of the ones I remember.

:( :0 :p ;)

Rolf only came up with this strange one below.

(`0m0`)

See what I mean? What in the world is that?

Well, it was a rather peaceful day today, diary. Will write back again tomorrow.

-Mist


	3. Entry 3

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 3**

Dear Diary,

I am so glad I brought you with me today, diary, because this is the worst.

So I took Rolf down to the clearing to pick some flowers, but then these bandits came out of nowhere and grabbed us up. Then they stuffed us in this small shed and left us here alone.

Rolf is now crying by the door. I tried to encourage him some, but when I told him Boyd would definitely come rescue him, he retorted that Boyd would just end up getting captured himself. Which, he's probably right diary.

But I'm not too worried. After all, big brother will come save us, right? He could probably take on all of those bandits by himself.

Actually, he just might come by himself.

Okay, now I'm worried, too.

Wait. I hear something outside. Write again in a moment, diary.

-o-

And now I'm back at the fort again. So, big brother apparently did try to charge in by himself, but Boyd also had the same idea. Thankfully, the others caught up to them in time.

In the end they tried to hold me and Rolf hostage, but then Shinon, our sniper, came in and put an arrow between his eyes. Through the back of his head.

Of course, this made poor Rolf faint when he saw all that blood spray on him. I wonder if he'll ever be able to be a mercenary at this rate. As for me, I was standing a few feet away from the bandit, so thankfully my favorite dress did not get splattered. Blood is so hard to get out.

Also, Gatrie was supposed to be with Shinon. He wears a lot of armor and stuff. However, he didn't show up before we left, and Shinon didn't tell us until a few minutes ago. I wonder where he is.

-Mist

P.S. I tried to think of some new emoticons while trapped in the shed, but I couldn't really focus with Rolf crying and stuff, so that'll have to wait until next time, diary.


	4. Entry 4

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 4**

Dear Diary,

I figured out how to cure Rolf!

So I was trying to find out how to help him with his, well, wimpiness. I mean, how will he ever become a great mercenary if he faints from a little blood? He needed someone to teach him how to stare down an army and smirk, you know.

Then I realized the solution: Shinon! I mean, how perfect is that? Shinon is always putting on the cool guy act. And if Rolf learned to use the bow, he wouldn't even have to worry about getting blood on him. Actually, maybe I should learn to use it as well.

Anyway, I went and told Shinon my idea, but he only smirked and said no. See what I mean? Rolf needs to learn to do that. Not the 'no' part, just the smirking part.

I kept asking Shinon all day, but he shot me down each time. Finally, I pointed out how hilarious it would be if Shinon was able to make Rolf outshine Boyd with his training (which wouldn't be that hard, diary).

Shinon smirked again and agreed. But apparently, he wants to 'see some results' before letting anyone else know about it. He dragged Rolf away for some training right after that. Rolf was whimpering the whole time as they left, but it's for his own good, really. I'm such a great team supporter.

Later on, Boyd kept asking why I kept giggling at him, so I shot him my best smirk. I don't think it had the same effect, though, because he just walked away scratching his head in confusion.

Shinon _did_ want to get Gatrie in the joke, though, because they're, like, best buds. But when we asked, we found out that he's still on the way back from the mission.

Until later, diary,

-Mist

P.S. I found a few more emoticons!

:B XD o.o


	5. Entry 5

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 5**

Dear Diary,

OH MY ASHERA!

Big brother brought a girl home! I can't believe it. And not just any girl. She's _gorgeous_. She looks like a princess. I mean, I knew big brother would find someone eventually, but never someone this pretty.

Of course, she's unconscious right now, so there's a chance that he kidnapped her and all. Which is kind of cute in its own way. I wonder if we'll get along. I've always wanted an older sister to talk to. Dad and bro just don't understand me at all.

I guess there's Titania, but…well, I tried to talk girl talk with her, but while I was talking about dresses, she was talking about armor. It took us a moment to realize we weren't on the same page. Plus, I'm, like, 99% sure that she has a crush on my dad, and I don't really know how to take that. I'm mean, she's really nice and stuff, but she doesn't really seem like the mom type, you know what I mean, diary?

Anyway, dad's in the other room talking to Ike about what he did. I wonder if dad will give him his blessing.

Oh! Soren just went in there. Which reminds me. Soren is back. Soren is our team's spellcaster. He wears black all the time and is always in a bad mood. He went to the capital to study some, but returned early. Apparently, the country of Daein attacked our capital, so now we're at war with them. It sounds like they've already won, which is a good thing. I mean, if the war is over, there won't be any more killing, right? I wonder what the current Daein trends are? Maybe I can convince dad to get me the latest fashion once we're officially part of Daein.

Hang on, diary. I think Ike's girlfriend is waking up.

-o-

I can't believe it diary! Ike's girlfriend is a princess! Well, she's not his girlfriend yet, but listen to what happened.

So when she woke up, I told the others, and dad wanted to talk to her immediately of course. He didn't really seem angry, so I was hoping he would consent to her and Ike.

Naturally, I was curious, so I dragged Rolf over to the door and had him eavesdrop with me. He tried to complain, but I warned him that if he said something, we'd get caught, so he stopped.

Get this, diary. The lady tells them that she's the princess of our country. Princess Elincia Ridell Crimea. Only, we don't have any princesses. I would know.

Apparently, she's been hidden since birth since they want her uncle to become king instead. When the capital was attacked, though, she fled and was later attacked herself. So that's when big brother jumped in and saved the day by fighting off her pursuers.

I, for one, believe her. I mean, she's pretty enough to be one, and her dress is _amazing,_ diary. I wish I had one. And being a princess is pretty cool, but being a secret princess is way cooler.

Hang on. Their topic is changing. What are they-

Rolf, don't lean so much or-


	6. Entry 6

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 6**

Dear Diary,

Sorry for not finishing last time diary. Rolf fell against the door and got us caught. Thankfully we didn't get in trouble this time.

Anyway, right after that, we were attacked by a bunch of dudes from that Daein armor. They wear all black, diary. I don't think Daein really has much taste in fashion. Who wears black all the time? Maybe they're just always prepared for their own funeral.

Once dad and big brother sent them running for their lives, dad announced that we were leaving the fort. I asked if we would be coming back, but he said not for a while. It's like an extended vacation, which would have been cool.

Except, it's not.

Because dad _burned down our fort!_

I can't believe he did that, diary. There was still a lot of stuff left in there, too. Soren's book collection, Shinon's beer collection, Gatrie's book and beer collection. Where are we supposed to come home to now?

Oh, don't worry, though, Diary. I did manage to get all my clothes out first. I mean, they didn't all fit into my bag, but then the princess told me that she would take a bag of them for me as well. She's the best princess ever. Of course, I still had a few leftover, so I took some of big brother's space. He wouldn't have used it all anyway.

So now we're traveling toward Gallia, the nation of shapeshifting cats and tigers. It's pretty hot, and there's not much of a path here in forest. Titania and Oscar let the princess and me use their horses, though, so we're good. Gatrie is supposed to be catching up some time, but he looked pretty worn out carrying all that armor.

Speaking of the princess, I asked big brother if she were his girlfriend, but he denied it. I told him that he needed to go after her then, but he only rolled his eyes.

She's got a lot going for her, though. She's pretty, got a good fashion sense, is kind to others, and now the only heir of Crimea.

Woah. If Ike married her, then he would be, like, the King. For real. And if Ike become King, wouldn't that make me a princess by extension?

That's it. Ike has to get together with the princess. But if I left this to big brother, he'd probably mess this all up, so I'll just have to give him some sisterly help.

Watch out, Crimea. Ike is going to be your new king.

-Mist

P.S. Maybe I'll let Elincia know to make the decisions, though, since Ike as king might not turn out well.


	7. Entry 7

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 7**

Dear Diary,

Being on the run is so hard. Today, the others made a distraction so that the princess, Rolf, and me could cross a bridge, but I ended up dropping one of my favorite bracelets in the water.

I stopped to grab it, but the river had already rushed it downriver to the spot where big brother was distracting the troops. I waved for him to grab it, but he simply glared at me and waved me away. How horrible, diary. He made such a big deal about picking up a little bracelet, even after everything I try to do for him!

I'm done talking to him for now. We're supposed to be meeting with dad soon, and boy will he be sorry for yelling at me. See if I ever do anything for him again.

…Well, besides getting him and the princess together. I mean, she could really help him become a better person. Plus, she's amazing at traveling in the forest. She hasn't got her dress plucked even once. It's amazing. I want to learn how to be a princess like her.

But before anything else, we have to find father again. We split up earlier but forgot to choose a meetup point. I wish we had some way of contacting each other over a distance, maybe send a message by magic or something. Hmm...

Anyway, that's all that happened so far, diary. Just running, running, running. Well, I'm actually riding Oscar's horse, but still.

-Mist

P.S. I wonder if Dad will let me get a pony for my birthday.


	8. Entry 8

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 8**

Dear Diary,

Today I saved dad and big brother right in time. They were being attacked by all those Daein people, but the princess and me found some cat and tiger people and brought them in to scare them away. I think they're called 'laguz'.

They took the princess to talk 'royalty', and now we're staying at an old castle for the night.

But before all that happened, I got a chance to talk to Elincia. She said she thought Ike was honest and hardworking, and even a little handsome! Ike has a chance! It's kind of weird hearing someone say that about my own brother, though.

Shinon says that Rolf is almost ready to fight, which I think is cool. Rolf doesn't, though, so I think he's started being worse on purpose so that Shinon won't send him out. He still hasn't learned to smirk yet, though.

Gatrie got lost somewhere in the forest, so we're waiting for him to catch up here before we move on to the capital. I wonder what Gallia's fashions are like this time of year? Maybe dad will even get me a dress. He seems to be a little out of it today, though. I wonder what's wrong with him?

-Mist


	9. Entry 9

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 9**

(There are several tear stained and ink smeared pages in this section. Whatever was written here is completely illegible.)


	10. Entry 10

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 10**

Dear Diary,

Okay, I can do it this time, diary. I'm sorry about the last few times. It's been really hard.

Dad died. Big brother brought him back all wounded from something, but brother didn't tell us what happened.

Everyone was upset. Shinon left. We're pretty sure Gatrie's not showing up, either. Titania cried her eyes out. That's the first time I've ever seen her cry.

Ike took over now that dad's gone. Only, it's not turning out well. We got attacked by loads and loads of soldiers and almost died as well. A few cats showed up to help us, but then they almost killed Soren. Actually, most people try to at least once, but still.

Now we're headed to the capital to meet up with the princess. I'm not really sure what to write, right now, diary, so later.

-Mist


	11. Entry 11

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 11**

Dear Diary,

So it turns out that me and big brother were born here, diary. I don't really remember that, though. I wonder why we left?

Anyway, we got to the capital, and the big cat king told the princess that he couldn't help her. So she decided that she would go to Begnion instead, which I think is _perfect!_ I mean, Begnion is always the height and center of fashion on Tellius. They even have whole markets dedicated to clothes! Maybe I can convince dad-

Umm, never mind.

Technically we finished our job when the princess got to the capital, but when she said she would leave, I nudged Ike to say something. He just gave me a confused look, so I decided to be less subtle and pushed him forward-almost into the princess, which made me laugh. When she asked what he needed, he stumbled around a bit, but finally said he would take her there. I think it's cute how he's so awkward around her. That has to mean he likes her, right?

So after packing, we left and headed back to Crimea to find a ship, since the cat people don't like water. I hope we get there soon, cause all this walking is _boring_.

-Mist

P.S. Oh, yeah. I decided that I would teach Rolf, since Shinon left. The problem is, I don't know how to smirk or to shoot a bow. But, I figure hands-on experience will be best for him right now, so I told him to join in the next battle. He put up a big front about that, but I finally convinced him by saying that I would join as well.

P.P.S. Okay, I forgot that I don't know how to actually use any weapons. Hmm…maybe I can try one of Rhys' staves? I mean, all you do is raise it a little and it heals, right? Even I can do that.


	12. Entry 12

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 12**

Dear Diary,

So that's how a staff works!

Okay, brother decided to attack a random fort, so we went to join him. I told him Rolf wanted us to fight as well, which Rolf started to protest to, but Boyd thankfully helped out. He said Rolf was too little to fight, so Rolf immediately decided that he _had_ to fight. He even smirked at his brother, diary! It wasn't as good as Shinon, but he smirked!

We also got a couple cat people to help us. They actually did most of the fighting, while me and Rolf stayed behind the others.

At some point, Boyd took a small hit on his arm, so he let me heal it. Of course, it didn't work at first, so I tried hitting it on something hard to see if it was stuck or something. Boyd complained when I hit his head, but it _was_ the hardest object around.

Rhys came up and showed me how to do it after that, so now I'm the back up healer. It's actually a lot of fun, so I've decided to keep on fighting with brother.

Oh! A pegasus rider joined us halfway through. Her pegasus is beautiful. I wonder if I could get one for myself. Or maybe a unicorn.

-Mist


	13. Entry 13

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 13**

Dear Diary,

I noticed that Ike doesn't walk near the princess much while we travel. I guess he's too shy or something like that. I tried to convince him to talk with her more, but Soren insisted that that wasn't needed and sent me away. Soren's a brat.

Actually, I think Soren just wants big brother for himself. Big brother is the _only_ person he talks to unless he's forced. Plus, Ike's the only one he doesn't send his death glare at. He's pretty mean most of the time.

So it looks like he might be my first obstacle to getting Ike and the princess together. I haven't given up, though. Maybe I should just find someone for Soren, too. I wonder if Mia would be interested?

Other than that, we did a jailbreak today. We freed a lot of prisoners from this place who joined us. Of course, the only one I've met so far is mister 'I CAN'T SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!', because he keeps drowning everyone else out. In fact, I can hear him right now badgering Oscar. I think a thief joined our team, too, but I haven't seem him yet…which might not be good. …I need to go check my dresses. Write later-

-Mist


	14. Entry 14

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 14**

Dear Diary,

Port Toha was amazing! They had all sorts of dresses, diary. Then even had the princess's dress on display here, and in my size, too!

But brother, of course, said no shopping. Apparently, we still don't have any money, which I think is a lie. I'm pretty sure I saw the cat king give him some gold, but he denies it ever happened.

However, Titania promised to get me a dress when we reach Begnion, so I'm okay. After all, Begnion's fashions are much more up to date and fancy. I just hope she isn't thinking of armor again.

We do have more girls on the team, thankfully, but…well…. Okay, there's Nephenee, but she doesn't understand fashion, being from the country and all, and only ever wears blue to match her hair. Even blue armor.

There's Illyana, but all she ever thinks about is food, so went I tried to go shopping with her at the port, she would only go to the food stalls. And it's totally unfair how she can keep that figure while eating so much.

Lethe is a cat-girl, but she can only wear special clothes since others will tear when they transform. She also hates dresses anyway.

Marcia is our pegasus rider, but I can't understand half of what she says. She compares _everything_ to food…or at least I think she does. I think she's kind of infatuated with Rolf ever since his first smirk, so she's always talking to him instead.

Mia's a sword user like brother, but all she cares about is finding her arch-rival. I did talk to her about Soren, and she's been hounding him ever since. I think she misunderstood me to think that Soren should be her rival instead of love interest, but…it will work out still. Hopefully.

Finally, there's the princess, who's perfect, of course. She could pick out all the latest fashions, and even pointed out which ones would probably come along next. She also knows how to bargain shop…even if we didn't have money. She did get me a pretty bracelet to replace the one I dropped. If only her and Ike got together already.

Unfortunately, we couldn't stay in Toha for long. Some soldiers found one of the cat people, so we had to rush to leave. On the bright side, we're taking a long boat ride, one I plan to make very romantic for a special couple. Maybe two.

-Mist


	15. Entry 15

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 15**

Dear Diary,

So we've been on the ship a while now. Not much has been happening for a while, since we're stuck on a boat.

Mia is still chasing Soren around, and has even forced him to train with her a few times, which was _so_ funny, diary. Soren couldn't even hold the sword up at first, and Mia didn't hold back at all once they started. I think he figured out that I started it, though, from the way he's been glaring recently.

I keep trying to get Ike and the princess together on occasion, which is a lot easier with so little space here. I think things are starting to progress. They talk a-

 _Cool. Is this a diary?_

What was that? My diary just disappeared for a moment and…wait, someone wrote in it! Who was that?

 _I'm Sothe. Who are you?_

Mist. Wait, why am I writing you? And why are you stealing and reading my diary? This is private!

 _I'm bored, and this looked interesting. So you're trying to get your brother and the princess together?_

I…fine, yes.

 _I can help._

Really?

 _Yep. I'll try to set something up._

Wait, why don't you just come out of the shadows and talk? Constantly stealing my diary is kind of creepy.

 _I'm a thief. I'm supposed to steal important stuff._

Fine. Well, that's all I've got, diary. Until next time.

-Mist

 _-And Sothe_

Stop that!


	16. Entry 16

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 16**

Dear Diary,

Sothe's plan worked. Sorta. He tried to get Ike to give Elincia a really expensive necklace, but it turned out to be one she lost. She was really glad he found it, but I bet Sothe was the one who took it. I'm not sure if they're closer yet. Brother still hasn't asked her out. Then again, we're at sea, so there's nowhere to go out here.

Another girl joined the team. Jill came in and chased off some big crows that tried to attack us. She rides a big wyvern that is actually really gentle. She doesn't talk to most of us because she hates the cat people, but I convinced to talk to me with some of Oscar's food. She's a lot like me. She likes fashion and clothing, but she had to leave most of it behind when they attacked Crimea. She loves the princess's dress as well.

We got to see some of the dragon people, too. Big brother insulted the prince right off the back, but I'm not really surprised. Soren and the ship captain both hid themselves, though. I wonder what's going on with them.

Okay, what little light I have here is almost gone, so I've got to go. I'm hiding from Sothe here in the hold. I don't want him reading my diary anyway, and this is the only safe spot. Hopefully we'll get to land soon.

-Mist

 _P.S. The lock you put on the diary isn't that good. Just thought I'd let you know._


	17. Entry 17

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 17**

Dear Diary,

I need to get a new lock so that _some_ people will stop reading my private thoughts!

Anyway, our time at sea has finally ended. We just reached Begnion, and we're taking a few carriages right to the palace. Jill says we aren't there, yet. I can't wait! Stalls, and shops, and clothes!

Plus, we should have lots of money soon! So we were almost landing when we found another ship under attack. When we found out the Apostle was on the ship-the leader of Begnion-Soren immediately ordered us to help. He actually wanted to help somebody. I think Mia is finally beginning to affect him.

Jill says we're still not there, yet.

Anyway, we rushed on board and fought off the pirates. They were the same clothes as other Daein soldiers, but the others said that it was probably just a coincidence. In the hustle, I found a small girl and carefully led her out of the chaos. She was so adorable! And she had on an amazing dress, diary.

Hmm. Jill is still saying we're not there, yet.

The Ike came over and starting questioning why she was here. When she announced that she was the Apostle, Ike doubled over laughing…until a pegasus rider came over and confirmed it. Oh, Ike, what do I do with you?

Jill says-

 _No, we're not there, yet, and we won't be for a few more hours, Mist! Now stop fidgeting and calm down!_

Ah! Someone else wrote in my diary! Does no one know about personal space here? This isn't fair.

Well, I guess it will be a while before I can shop. Write later.

-Mist


	18. Entry 18

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 18**

Dear Diary,

So Ike met with the Apostle, and he insulted. Again. How will I ever get him together with Elincia if he can't talk to girls right? It turned out to be a good thing, because when Ike told us what happened, Rolf managed to smirk at him, just like Shinon used to do. He's growing up so well now.

Anyway, the girl sent Ike off into the wilderness as punishment, so I stayed behind with Titania, Jill, and Elincia to go shopping. In Begnion. Oh. My. Ashera. It was _awesome!_ There were shops everywhere! All the latest fashions were out on display. Jill and I tried on dozens of dresses while Elincia got one made for court. Her new dress is an even more elegant ball gown, with the same height of fashion orange. She's so lucky.

I even found the perfect dress today, diary! It looks beautiful. And expensive. But thankfully, my birthday is tomorrow! So brother will have to get it for me, right?

I did talk to Mia about Soren, though, and I found out that she doesn't like him that way. In fact, she said she did like someone, but she couldn't tell me for some reason, so now I'm _really_ curious. Her and Lethe seem to be closer nowadays, so I might ask Lethe. At least Soren has stopped glaring so much.

I did hear that Gatrie joined us at some point, but I still haven't seen him. Well, I better get to sleep. I can't wait to see my new dress tomorrow.

-Mist


	19. Entry 19

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 19**

Dear Diary,

I got a pony! I got a pony! I GOT A PONY!

So I was so looking forward to that dress, when Ike went and got me a pony instead. I've been wanting a pony for ages, but dad would never let me have one. Something about how all my pets kept moving to live on the farm after a few weeks. But it's a real, live pony!

Titania got me some chain mail, Boyd got me sketch of himself, Rolf got me a pot of flowers, Jill let me ride her wyvern, Rhys got me a new staff, and the princess gave me a brooch.

Even that cat or tiger guy even got me a purse even though I don't remember ever talking to him before. We talked some, and learned his name was Mordecai. I'll just call him Kitty.

Tomorrow, the girl is sending Ike off on another mission to the desert while us girls stay and talk. I've already planned a huge sleepover, too! Today was awesome~!

Well, I'm going to go ride 'Star' some more. Later-

-Mist

 _P.S. Happy Birthday_

P.S.S. Ah! The dress! The dress! It's here! Who- Sothe, did you do this? Thank you! You got the exact dress I wanted!

 _P.S.S.S. Hope you like it. Had to stay up all night to get it._

P.S.S.S.S. I do! I do! But how did you get it? It was _so_ expensive and…Sothe…did you steal this? …Sothe? …Hello?


	20. Entry 20

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 20**

(This entry has been smoothed back out after having undergone severe crumpling and rough treatment. Stab marks and smears of ink are scattered across the page, adding to the damage.)

Dear Diary,

The sleepover didn't go like I thought it would. So at first, me and the rest of the girls were enjoying the night with silly talk like normal. But when the talk moved to who we all liked, half of the girls wouldn't say. Jill told us about her crush Haar, and Astrid told us how she hasn't been around many men, which is horrible. But Mia, Lethe, Marcia, and the princess wouldn't speak a word, which is really suspicious. Well, for the princess, it's a good suspicious I guess, but still.

Eventually, Mia stopped the topic by starting a pillow fight, which then turned into pillow duels. Now Mia is claiming to be the best swordswoman of all time, so I've decided to prove her wrong. Fighting runs in my blood, after all. I'll show her…once I get a little practice in, first, of course.

Later on, Ike came back from the desert all mad and stuff and immediately went to shout at the girl again. Meanwhile, I took the time to meet the most _handsomest man ever!_ And he's on our team now! And he's a swordsman, like big brother. He has this shoulder length green hair, and just looks so sure of himself all the time. Ah. Oh, yeah, he name is Stefan. Wonderful, isn't it? He even complimented my pony.

 _Are you really crushing on that guy?_


	21. Entry 21

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 21**

(A few stabs marks can be seen from the previous page, but is otherwise in much better condition.)

Dear Diary,

I got a new lock. And a box with a lock. It will be harder to take you around with me, but at least Sothe can't see what I'm writing now.

He's so mean, diary! I will never forgive him for reading what I wrote yesterday. I was so embarrassed. I just hope he doesn't tell anyone.

Today we raided a noble person's house to save a bird. I was still so angry about what Sothe did, that I just charged right in and starting swinging Ike's old sword from Star's back. I…don't think I hit anyone, but it still felt good to vent.

Ike was angry, though, and said I wouldn't be going on the next mission or whatever, since I'm not supposed to be a swordfighter. So now I plan to use it from now on. Besides, maybe I can get good enough to catch Ste- er, S's attention.

I talked to Mordecai some, and found out that Lethe is part of some secret group. And Mia's part of it. So now I'm curious about what in the world their group would be.

-Mist


	22. Entry 22

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 22**

Dear Diary,

This is horrible. So even though big brother said I wouldn't be going on the next mission, he decided he needed me because they got in a huge fight or something.

Only, he didn't tell me we were fighting in a dead forest full of mud. My dress is ruined, diary, ruined. To top it all off, they aren't even where they said they'd be. Titania is with me, but we can't find them at all. That is the worst.

Hold on. Titania says she sees something.

-o-

Okay, so we finally found them. They were fighting that big fat noble and finally killed him for good. We also saved two birds instead of one.

Then, they sang mom's song and the whole forest was brought back to life. That was kind of cool, especially since there was no more muck everywhere.

Except that 'S' saw me right after that and laughed. He laughed, diary! It's horrible! How will I speak to him the next time? And Ike acted like nothing was wrong.

So today was simply the worst.

-Mist


	23. Entry 23

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 23**

Dear Diary,

So big brother became a lord today, and even got his own army. I don't think it's fair. He drags us through all that muck, and then only he becomes a noble? Well, I guess that makes me a noble, too, since I'm his sister. I guess that's a step _toward_ being a princess.

Brother and the princess are talking more now that he's a noble, so there's still hope. Of course, I can't talk to 'S' anymore, not after last time.

 _Good. That means I can write again._

What? Sothe? How dare you-

 _Yeah, yeah. Just wanted to let you know, that lock you were sold is a scam. Doesn't keep a thief out for a second._

So you've been reading this all this time? You know what? I don't even care anymore.

 _Okay, good, because 'S' is way to obvious._

So anyway, diary, we're going to march to Daein now. At least I can ride Star there, so I don't have to walk. I'm going to miss Begnion, though. They had the best clothes.

Oh, I asked Lethe about their group, but she said it's a secret. She wouldn't even tell Jill, so I'm not sure what to do now.

 _I'll find out._

And I might start to forgive you. Just don't get caught.

 _Wait…you're_ allowing _me to spy on them?_

You're going to do it anyway, just like reading my personal thoughts.

 _Awesome! No one lets me do my job anymore! I'll even do it for free now! Well, I'm off! To be a thief!_

Um, okay then. Well, write later diary-

-Mist


	24. Entry 24

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 24**

Dear Diary,

So-

 _You're back. Finally._

Sothe? Why are you-

 _I found out about the club._

…Have you been waiting all this time to tell me?

 _Yes._

Can't you just talk to me like normal?

 _No._

…So, what's their club about then?

 _It's called the 'We Love Ike' club._

I think you misspelled something there, Sothe.

' _We Love Ike' club._

Are you serious?

 _Yes. It consists of Mia, Lethe, Marcia, and Soren._

What? What about the princess?

 _I don't think she knows._

I've got to stop this. What in the world do they see in him? I mean, really? Soren I kind of expected, but the rest?

I need to start moving faster. If I don't get brother together with the princess, one of the others might steal him away. I'll go talk to the princess now.

…

 _No thank you?_

 _Hmm, she forgot to write today's happenings._

 _Well, we marched right to Daein, and Ike pretty much soloed the mission by charging right over the wall and clearing it of enemies. He's pretty awesome. We're gathering our forces now to take down the last of their forces atop the hill._

 _We had a glorious bird-man and a few bird-horse riders join. Umm, Rolf ousted his old teacher with a smirk._

 _Let's see…I think that's it? I'm not sure. They won't let me fight, like usual, so I guess I'm done writing for now._

 _Well, write later, diary._

 _-Sothe_


	25. Entry 25

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 25**

Dear Diary,

So I asked the princess what she thought of big brother. It took a lot of pushing, but she finally admits that she likes him a little, which is good, except that she doesn't want to let him know yet. She's afraid she'll distract him and stuff.

She did give us a huge amount of money after the fight, though, so now I _know_ Ike can afford me a new dress the next time I ask.

Anyway, we're not too far from the capital, so the war will be over soon and I can get those two on a date. For now, I'm just trying to keep the others away from him as much as I can…except for Lethe. She's a bit scary to keep stopping. I'll try asking Kitty to stop her.

Jill's started acting strange as well, all of a sudden, so now I'm worried that she's starting to like Ike as well. Hopefully that's not the case.

Hmm. Not much to write about, so until next time.

-Mist


	26. Entry 26

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 26**

SOTHE! WHERE ARE YOU!?

…

 _Yes? Why are you crying?_

Give it back!

 _What back?_

My medallion! Give it back, you thief!

 _I didn't take any medallion of yours._

Then who did?

 _I don't know. I don't stalk you_ all _the time._

But…why? I…my medallion disappeared. It was the last thing I had to remember my parents by, and now-

 _Maybe you dropped it? I'll help look._

No. It disappeared in the night. Someone stole it. What do I do? Brother doesn't know what to do either. This is horrible.

 _I'll go look for it._

How?

 _I'm a thief remember? I'll search every person in this army if I have, too._

Really? Oh, thank you, Sothe.

 _I'll do anything for you, so stop crying._

Okay.

 _And you might want to get some of your snot off of this page, too, before it smears the ink._

Hey!


	27. Entry 27

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 27**

Dear Diary,

Sothe found out who took my medallion, but it was too late. The ship captain from before took it and sent it to Daein's king, who is not at the capital at all. He's still in Crimea, so now we have to march all the way back home to beat him.

And the fight in Daein's castle was horrible. First the door ominously closes on its own, then all the torches go out, then creepy voices started echoing down the halls. The enemy was as blind as us in the pitch blackness, so I'm convinced something else do it…like a ghost. Especially when people started falling to the ground asleep for no reason. Ike fell asleep the most, too. At least it's over. You don't know how scary the dark is until he hear whispering echoes, running water, and brother's snoring all at once.

It was the worst.

Jill is still depressed after the previous fight, too. Her father was killed in the battle, so now we're both orphans. I've tried to help out, cause I know what it's like. We usually just end up crying, though.

We did get another fashionable girl on the team at last, though. This woman called Cahill is great at matching clothes, and she even gave me a few sets of Daein outfits. They're all black, though. Why can't Daein make any other colors? I hope we get home soon so I can find some real clothes.

I've been trying get Ike and the princess together more, but brother always tells me he's busy running the army, as if Soren doesn't do it all himself.

-Mist


	28. Entry 28

**The (Soon-to-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 28**

Dear Diary,

So we attacked a church today. A bunch of men tried to attack us while using the priests as meat shields. At least, they did until Kitty started throwing them out of the way left and right.

We got a lot of stuff from the church, too! I even got a new priestess outfit to wear! The robe is so swishy and soft.

Then we found out that my medallion has a dark god locked within. How creepy is that? But Ashnard has it and wants to release it, so we need to stop him before that happens. I wonder what the dark god is like?

Shinon tried to test Rolf's skills, and he can shoot as well as Shinon now. When they were trying to figure out who was better, I convinced them to have a smirk off. Rolf has developed a pretty good smirk, but Shinon is still better, especially the smirk he gave when he won. Rolf is almost a real man now. Well, besides the fact that he's still thirteen and all.

Well, we're almost to Crimea now. We only have one more bridge to cross, and then we'll be there. Riding Star while we march all day is so tiring. Hopefully we'll get there soon.

Until next time, diary,

-Mist


	29. Entry 29

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 29**

Dear Diary,

We're back in Crimea finally, but we still have a long way to go to get to the capital. We crossed this huge bridge today while fighting against Daein again. There were traps everywhere. Thankfully, Boyd discovered them all for me so that Star would be safe from hurting her hoofs.

I wore my new priestess dress today on the battlefield, and everyone started targeting me immediately. I forgot that they usually do that with Rhys as well. Kitty made sure I was safe by forcing them back, though, and into any potholes Boyd didn't fall in.

In the middle of the battle, Jill's boyfriend also showed up! Jill was so distracted, she almost fell off her wyvern, so I made sure to stay close by just in case I needed to catch her.

Then we met this awesome woman called Lucia on the other side that fights while wearing high heels. Now _that's_ fashionable. She said she might have a smaller pair from when she was younger for me when I asked. She's so nice. She's also like a sister to the princess, so she's kind of like a princess, too. Maybe I can get Ike together with her if things fall through.

We also had some old guy joined, but nobody can understand him at all because his words all have five syllables or more. I'm just calling him Webster for now.

That's all for now. We're marching again to meet up with some others that know the princess. Write later.

-Mist


	30. Entry 30

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 30**

Dear Diary,

This is the worst! Ike has competition now! How is he ever going to win the princess over if he has to compete with that knight in shining armor? He's her childhood friend and the brother of her best friend!

And it gets worse, diary. Webster is trying to get them together, too…I think. Once they finally understand what he's saying, Ike may never have a chance again! This calls for drastic measures!

 _What kind of drastic measures?_

Sothe! Perfect timing. Where have you been?

 _Just out looking for someone._

Well, we need to do something soon, or Webster is going to ruin it all.

 _I'm not sure if there's much we can do, Mist._

Hmm…I know! We'll convince the princess to go out and fight.

… _Okay, you lost me there. Why?_

When she goes out there, brother will be able to rescue her if something goes wrong. Then she'll fall head over heels for him, and then the green knight guy won't stand a chance.

 _I think that's kind of dangerous, though._

Don't worry. I'll be out there, too. I'll go talk to her now and see what she says.

 _This is not going to be good. Hmm, I wonder who that black knight is out…uh, oh. Ike's in trouble. I have to go save him, diary. Don't worry, Ike! Sothe is coming! Maybe I should put this thing down now…_


	31. Entry 31

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 31**

Dear Diary,

I'm worried about Sothe, diary. He's really been down since last time. Brother said he came running up just as the Black Knight disappeared, so he might be upset that he didn't get to help.

I did talk to the princess while that happened, though, and she says she might be willing to fight. She even sent for her great-grandmother's equipment and pegasus. It will be so cool if she does. I can't wait to see what her battle outfit looks like.

Today we charged up a cliff toward an ambush. The enemy kept throwing rocks at us, so they must have ran out of arrows or something. But then the enemy leader came flying out of the sky on a wyvern to attack. He didn't see the boulder above him until it had already landed on him. I guess their plan didn't work.

The others say it won't be long until we reach the capital, so hopefully we get there soon. So-

 _I'm not upset._

Sothe! You're back! Are you alright?

 _I'm fine. I just really wanted to help, is all. I never get to be the hero._

I'm sure you'll get to be the hero of your own story one day, Sothe. So cheer up!

 _Okay. I'm going to go practice my poses then. I want to be ready for when my story starts._

Poses? Sothe?

Oh well. Write later, diary.

-Mist


	32. Entry 32

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 32**

Dear Diary,

I _love_ Elincia's battle dress. Well, it's actually her grandmother's, but it's still awesome! She always knows what's in style, even on the battlefield.

Also, my plan worked! They were fighting one of Daein's generals, when the black paladin attacked Elincia. Ike jumped in and saved the day! I'm so proud of him. Now I just need to get him to ask her out already.

But the best news is that this one fashionable mage is going to help me take Geoffrey out of the picture completely.

 _Killing your own allies is really bad, Mist._

What!? No! We're not going to do that at all, Sothe! We just plan on hooking him up with Nephenee instead. She's been getting lessons on fashion, while I'm going to be trying to get Geoffrey to pay attention to her.

 _Do you want me to? We get to talk a lot while we stay back and watch everyone else fight._

I can handle it. You need a lady's charm for these sorts of things. Trust me. First, I'll see what he likes in a girl, then we'll help Nephenee meet it. Simple.

 _I guess. Just thought you would want a guy's perceptive._

Look, you're a boy, so you only understand boys. I'm a girl, so I understand both boys and girls.

 _That…doesn't make sense._

Trust me, it will. Just watch.

Until tomorrow, diary.

-Mist


	33. Entry 33

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 33**

Dear Diary,

Today was a long day! So first, we attacked a fort, only we found out that father's killer was there. Big brother rushed off to attack him by himself like an idiot, so I decided to after him and save him.

Which is a good thing I did, because the Black Knight wasn't alone either. I fought off the other soldiers while brother tried to beat the Black Knight. After a while, their sword beams started to destroy the fort, so we ran away while rescuing a dragon lady. The Black Knight never came out, so we won't be seeing him again.

 _Good._

Ahem. Anyway, I tried talking to Geoffrey earlier, but he kept being cagey about what he likes. Eventually, though, I got him to let go of a few details: long, green hair, slim body, and dresses. We're going to dye Nephenee's hair, and the princess has already allowed us to borrow her old dress. Won't Geoffrey be surprised!

 _You're going to dye her hair?_

Yep! Then it's off to ask him out on a date! Perfect, right? I told you to trust me, Sothe.

 _I've so gotta see this._

Right? Well, I've got to go to our sleepover we're doing tonight, so bye.

-Mist


	34. Entry 34

**The (Soon-To-Be) Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 34**

Dear Diary,

It worked! So we dyed Nephenee's hair and sent her over to Geoffrey, even though she kept acting like she didn't want to. Geoffrey fell head over heels for her, which had nothing to do with the fact that a stray tree branch was in front of his feet.

But they ended up going on a date, diary!

 _I still can't believe that worked._

See? What did I tell you? It's all according to plan. They're date was rather bland, though. Nephenee was scared of talking most of the time, and Geoffrey talked about the princess a lot. He doesn't understand girls, obviously. He didn't even give her a kiss goodbye.

 _Please tell your diary how you know all this._

Well...I...just _happened_ to run into them during their date, and I didn't want to bother them, so I just...kept a healthy distance.

 _You stalked them._

How do you know? I could have just been...trying to help Nephenee out and stuff.

 _Because I was watching you do it._

Wait. You were stalking me!?

 _Well...I was just wondering why you kept trying to sneak down the street in broad daylight for._

That's creepy, Sothe! What if someone saw you?

 _And what about you? That's like Begnion calling Daein beorc._

...Fine. Well, I'm glad I did it anyway, because the others raided some tower full of mad dragons. Mad in both senses of the word. Then they found out that the prison was an experiment shop for messing with the laguz. Everyone was horrified at it.

But at least we're almost to the capital. According to brother, we should get there soon, and then we'll be fighting the King and the war will be over.

...Which is actually really bad now that I think about it. Ike and the princess still aren't together, yet! I've got to do something about it.

See you, Sothe and diary.

-Mist

 _...Did she just really leave me her diary?_

 _Hm, what to write. I know!_

 _Ike is the greatest of all time!_

 _-Sothe_


	35. Entry 35

**The Princess Diaries**

 **Entry 35**

Dear Diary,

The war is over! Finally!

So first we got to the capital and fought with the king. He flew in on a dragon, but brother used our dragon to even the odds. He wouldn't stay dead, though. Ike had to beat him down, like, ten or twelve times.

 _I bet that was awesome. Ike is awesome._

…Why do you praise my brother so much? That's just weird.

 _Well…just because?_

Anyway, after we defeated the rest of them, Ike started giving farewell speeches to everyone. At the end, he went to talk to the princess, and I enacted my plan.

 _Wait…that random gust of wind was you?_

Yep. Well, Ilyana, but I gave her some food to do it. The princess fell right into Ike's arms, and with a little nudging with Boyd, I got him to start catcalling them.

And then, it actually worked. The princess kissed him, and he asked her out. Right in front of the whole army. I think I can actually be proud of my brother now. Even if he is a little slow. I wish I could draw the faces of the 'WLI' club.

 _I joined them, too, but it wasn't what I thought. They just talk about his muscles and stuff._

Please don't write such disturbing stuff on the last page of my diary, Sothe.

So now everyone's starting to go home, and we get to stay at the palace, since Ike and the princess are dating now. They're first date is tomorrow, so I've got to go and make sure Ike doesn't mess up.

 _You're going to stalk them, too?_

Help, Sothe. Not stalk. I just need to think of an excuse to end up at the same restaurant.

 _I'll go with you._

Huh?

 _Like a double-date. I can take you there, and then you'll have an excuse to be there._

Double-date! What!? I mean, you just mean as a…like, disguise right. Not an actual-

Are…are those real roses?

 _Yep. Just like the ones on the west side of the garden. So, what do you say? You, me, tomorrow, dinner? I have a pile of these gold coins I keep finding._

Well…I guess just once wouldn't hurt. And you have helped me out a lot. Alright. But you have to actually talk to me instead of using my diary.

 _I'll do my best._

Well, I'm running out of room, so we'll have to end it here. I can't believe I've already gone through this whole diary. It's been a year, but only really feels like a month.

 _I know._

Well, good-bye.

-Mist

- _And Sothe_

-o-

 **AN:** And the final installment of this short series. Hope you all enjoyed it. I guess I should stick to drama more than humor, but I hope it got you to laugh a few times at least.

-Rider


End file.
